PREPARING FOR DIVORCE: 7 STEPS

Despite the reason that you have for choosing to end your marriage with a divorce, do not make impulsive decisions. You need to be rational, calm and you need to think things through so you can be prepared. By doing the following suggestions, your first visit to an attorney will be much more productive.

STEP 1

You will need to gather all families financial information, including assets and debt information. The more supporting documentation that you have the better. If you plan on moving out of the home, then you need to get copies of everything before you leave. If you attempt to return to the marital home after you have moved out to retrieve the financial information, often the information has already been removed and it is a great deal of hassle and a financial cost to obtain the information later.

The types of information would be credit card accounts, loans on vehicles, real estate, mortgages, deeds of any properties, insurance policies, pay stubs, tax returns for the prior three (3) years, business operation records, bank and credit union accounts, pension retirement accounts, IRA's, 401K's, any investment accounts and any other asset or debt information that is unique to your family. You want to attempt to have at least the last twelve (12) months at minimum. If you are unable to obtain certain documents, but have access to at least the account numbers, that will help you later on in obtaining the information.

Obviously, you need the social security numbers and date of births for each person in the family. Do not forget copies of Birth Certificates, Passports, Last Will and Testaments, etc.

The best idea is to put these copies in a safe place, whether it is with a relative that you trust, a safe deposit box, or have them with you. If you hire an attorney, be prepared to provide a copy of all documents.

Before you make a final decision on whether staying the marital or leaving the marital home, you should make that decision after you have everything in order and you have spoken to an attorney so you can make an informed decision.

STEP 2

Prepare an inventory of all your personal property (anything that is worth over $100.00). It will first include separate property items which would be items that were brought into the marriage given to you as a gift, or inherited. You would list beside the item which one of those reasons it is your separate property (example, diamond ring inherited from my mother when she passed). It will secondly include all community property. ( if there are any items that are irreplaceable to you such as keep sakes or photographs, they should also be placed in a safe place whether it is with a relative that you trust, a safe deposit box, or some other safe location). Take several pictures of each room of the marital home if you plan on leaving so that you have proof of the condition of the home prior to you leaving. If it is probably a good idea to take photographs of the contents of the garage, storage rooms as well as the front and back yards.

STEP 3

Make sure you have a complete list of all telephone numbers, address, email information about doctors, teachers, accountants, financial planners, daycare centers, any contact that has been involved in the family's life. You want to make sure you don't lose contacts information.

STEP 4

You want to change all of your passwords on all of your financial accounts, e-mail, Facebook, twitter accounts. You may want to open a new e-mail account just for privilege communications between you and your attorney. Be careful when you do this, as this may alert your spouse that you are about to separate.

STEP 5

After you change passwords to Facebook, MySpace, Linked In, and any other social network media, it is very important that any social network media is kept in a positive manner. Even if you keep it private, there are amazing ways that people gain access to this information. You want to make sure you keep your Facebook clean. You do not want to put anything derogatory on there. You don't want pictures of you partying, you do not want pictures of you "partying". You want to limit how many contacts have access to your social network. You may want to reduce your number of friends, as you do not want to have everyone as a friend during this time. Always be aware that anything that you post on a social network can, and probably will, be used as evidence in any legal matter.

STEP 6

For the sake of simplicity, I am referring to gender roles in general and in today's society the roles of each parent are easily switched. You want to start keeping a journal regarding children's activities, who normally takes the children to the doctor, the dentist, to and from school, to activities, etc.. Try to keep a general calendar of the children's daily life. Start thinking about what kind of relationship you want to develop as far as how to share parenting time and how the kids will be split between the parents and what each role will change to, if perhaps the mother works full-time and the father has more flexibility then maybe he would be better to take the children to the doctor although in the past the mother has primarily taken time off to do this task. She may have been able to do that because even though she was missing pay for the day to take the kids to the doctor, the father's pay made up for it. But now that the parents have separate households, Mother may not be able to miss work. Start thinking about separate households how are kids appointments will be handled. Focus on the kids and how to make it easier for them and how the parents can work together.

STEP 7

If you only have a joint account, you are going to want to open your own account in your name only. Make sure you start having any automatic deposits of your paychecks deposited into your own account. Be careful to note if you have any debts (ie., car loan, utilities, etc.) automatically taken from any account. This does not mean that your paycheck is your sole and separate property, it just allows you more control over the funds. This is a sensitive area and it is highly recommended that you discuss with an attorney your plan to do this action, prior to cancelling automatic payroll deposits into a joint account. You do not want to be accused of hiding community funds.